Posts tagged my life

nonplussedbyreligion:

nonplussedbyreligion:

Downside to giving up television, you don’t realize how silent your home really is until your boyfriend moves out and your friends who have regular jobs have all gone to bed :(

Upside to not owning a television, when you’re not reading you can spend 2 hours a day in your home gym that you hardly used when your boyfriend was there :)

This being single thing sucks and rocks all at the same time.  I’m sad but I’ll be dead sexy by summer at this rate. LOL.  Yup silver lining found. ~ Kim

nonplussedbyreligion:

I post a lot of things on my blog supporting LGBTQA rights, and without fail, someone always asks me if I’m a lesbian.  I usually just say no, I’m a human and let it go.  Seeing this picture however makes me want to explain why I’m a supporter.

Homosexuality is a sin.  I heard that so many times growing up that I thought it had to be true.  I was born in a country where they are still known for acts of homosexual violence.  People live in fear and hiding there.  You do not report your beating to the police, because there is a possibility that the police were involved.  It’s a beautiful island and I love it, but the level of homophobia there is scary.

While growing up I didn’t know any LGBTQA people, or at least I wasn’t aware of any, until my senior year of high school.  I went to private schools all my life, but that year I demanded to go to public school, and it was there that I met my first true gay friend David.  Almost as private all girls school rite of passage, I kissed a girl in the 11th grade, we both walked away realizing we were straight and I never thought anything more of it.

David was awesome.  We met in the summer prior to school starting at senior class planning event.   We were the only ones at the Latin booth signing up for it as a foreign language.  Our chemistry as friends was amazing, it was the kind of chemistry you usually forge through years of friendship, yet that summer, and one year of school set the tone for the rest of our lives.  We both were nerds and decided we were going to ride out senior year on a wave of crazy electives.  Together we tackled, Latin, Analytical Geometry & Trig, Anatomy and Physiology, and for nothing more than pure boredom, Typing and Ceramics.  It was during an anatomy class, as we were discussing the male and female reproductive system that he came out to me.  I initially laughed, thinking he was kidding around as usual until I looked at him and realized he was dead serious.  My years and years of indoctrination and learned homophobia taught me that David was an evil, sinful, vile person, who would be burning in hell for all eternity because he was gay.  But it was David, my absolute best friend at the time.  He was probably the best man I knew that I wasn’t related to.  He was one of the best people I’d ever had the privilege of knowing.  This all warred within me as he sat there waiting for my response to his admission.  I loved him.  He was the same person.  I just smiled at him and told him we’d talk after class.  

This was 17 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.  I remember him hesitating to get out of his seat, and me dragging him and his books across the school to the back of the auditorium where no one ever was.  I told him I didn’t understand what being gay was.  I didn’t know what he felt like, but he was my friend and nothing was changing.  I promised to take his secret to my grave or to help him find a boyfriend if he wanted me to.  He cried, not because of my words, but because he felt guilty.  We had been friends for months, but I was the only one who didn’t know he was gay.  He was afraid to tell me because I was born in Jamaica.  Some of you may or may not know about the Dancehall/Reggae artist Buju Banton and his song Boom Bye Bye.  The entire song, every single word of it is about murdering homosexuals.  It was also a #1 song on the island.  A lot of the lyrics in Dancehall music is homophobic.  I’d grown up here all my life, but I still listened to Dancehall music back then.  I’d actually danced to that song!  I’d actually sung it.  It was on a CD I’d played at my house while David was there!  He thought I’d hate him for being gay, yet still remained my friend despite thinking I may be a homophobic asshole.  He had resolved to hide his sexual orientation from me to maintain what we had established.  I wanted the world to open up and swallow me alive.  I felt unworthy of his friendship and love.

My relationship with him had a major impact on how I view LGBTQA individuals.  Had we not been friends, had someone just said, “That kid over there is gay” I may have stood in silent judgment of him because I wouldn’t have known him.  I’m forever grateful that he was my friend and the one teach me that everything Christians say about the LBGTQA community is absolute bullshit.   I did not stop being a Christian then; however I never stopped being his friend.

After high school and during college, I ended up living in South Florida, which has a really large gay community.  I worked for a major financial institution that valued diversity, had GLOBE (Gay & Lesbian Organization of Business & Enterprise) meetings, and offered same sex partner benefits.  I went from David being the only gay person I knew to a world of great diversity in a matter of months.  I’ve formed friendships that have lasted longer than relationships I’ve had with homophobic boyfriends.  I love them and they love me.  David is still my best friend.  He has abandoned me to live in the UK and recently married his amazing husband Kevin.  There are people that enter our lives and change us.  I’m beyond grateful that David was my first gay friend.  I may not be the person I am today without him.  ~ Kim

nonplussedbyreligion:

My cousin just sent me this picture.  She follows my blog, and in the wake of all the love I’ve been getting today she wanted to let me know why it was coming my way.  Her message was “K you are tough as nails, but the sweetest person I know.  No one dares fuck with you, well at least not twice.  I love that you support me in this blog.  I love that you support me in life.  When I came out and the family was livid, you standing up to say “Well I’m living with my boyfriend and we know each other in the Biblical way!” to show how stupid they were being, was one of the highlights of my life!  If we weren’t related and you weren’t straight, we’d already be married.  I love you K.”  

Yeah this is sharing a bit more than I usually do, but when you’re super religious family gets bent out of shape over sex, the only strength comes from numbers.  My statement wasn’t just to defuse the situation.  I was a Christian at the time and “living in sin” yet my cousin being a lesbian was the issue.  For those of you who are my friends on facebook, or those amongst my personal friends that follow me here, you know this is me 24/7.  I don’t have an internet persona, that would be too much like work, and then I wouldn’t want to do this blog anymore.  How many of you can say the same thing?  I know it’s not always safe to stand up for what you believe in, or declare your sexual orientation, or atheism.  In some families, its not even safe to oppose them politically.  However there will come a time when you can no longer hide.  When letting it out on your blog is not enough.  Will you be willing to take the risk?

So this was one of the things I put in my queue to post this weekend that tumblr ate. 

I’m a member on NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Illness) and it has enriched both my life and my career. 

Mental illness is a serious medical illness that affects one in four families.

NAMI’s support and public education efforts are focused on educating America about mental illness, offering resources to those in need and insisting that mental illness become a high national priority.  NAMI is one of the organizations whose work I fully support.  I’m sure we all have someone in our lives that has a mental illness.  NAMI is a great resource, especially for those with co-occurring disorders of substance or alcohol abuse. ~ Kim 

Mental Illness Awareness Week 2011: Oct. 2-8, 2011

In 1990, the U.S. Congress established the first week of October as Mental Illness Awareness Week (MIAW) in recognition of NAMI’s efforts to raise mental illness awareness. Since 1990, mental health advocates across the country have joined together during the first full week of October in sponsoring many kinds of activities.

MIAW has become a NAMI tradition. It presents an opportunity to all NAMI state organizations and affiliates across the country to work together in communities to achieve the NAMI mission through outreach, education and advocacy.

Maybe it’s because they work with books or catalogue data.  Maybe it’s because the sexiest man in my 10th grade world was Father Andrew, the librarian at my all girls catholic school.  I used to walk in and tell him what I was thinking and he always knew the right book for me.  I can’t name exactly what the attraction is but it’s something I’ve never outgrown.  And it’s not like the sexy Librarian thing where the woman takes off her glasses and shakes out her hair and she’s super hot.  I like them just the way the are, glasses, tweeds, sweaters, balding, it doesn’t matter.

As if someone were reading my mind, they’ve come out with a calender, The Men Of The Stacks!!! 12 months of Librarians for me to ogle.  I must say this is the best birthday present I’ve gotten this year.  Thank you David D!!!!  Fortunately I don’t believe its bad luck to use a calendar for the upcoming year before January.  I’m a happy girl.  ~ Kim

You can get your very own calender here http://menofthestacks.com/

***Update*** Just found out that ALL proceeds from this calender goes to the It Gets Better Project. :)